salam. i am sorry mak ayah dan semua orang. adik mintak maaf sangatsangat. i don't know why it have to be like this. i really wanted to come home during this raya haji. and i am home. tapi i don't know why i am acting like this. i am so depressed. i am so tense. dua hari berkurung dalam bilik, adik mintak ampun sepenuhnya. i know i am wrong, i know i am too emotional. tapi adik tak boleh nak lawan perasaan. lagi2 bila lepas jumpa doktor haritu. dua hari berkurung dalam bilik, i've been studying, belek buku tu blek buku ni. and i'm sorry adik tak keluar langsung dari bilik jumpa dengan semua orang.
sedihnyaaaaaaaaaaaa!
kalao dikenangkan smula, i was sooooooo happy dan tak sabar nak balik rumah. i wanted to be home. i really wanted to be close to mak ayah dan semua orang. lagi-lagi bila dah dekat nak exam SPM ni. tapi i dont know why, semuanya jadi macam ni. i admit my mistake of being such an egoistic person. tapi adik tak tahu. now, dua hari dah terbuang. adik tak jumpa sapesape. adik tak keluar bilik. and adik benci ingat semula kejadian jumpa doktor haritu.
i wanna meet mak. i wanna say my sorry to mak. nanti tak dapat dah jumpa mak. besok dah nak balik tumpat. minggu depan dah start exam. mak mesti sangat sdih kan anak dia buat perangai macamni? but i dont know how to face mak and adikberadik yang lain.
i wanna be in the kitchen too. i wanna join you guys gelakgelak. i wanna share my happiness. i wanna share my feeling. i wanna share many things with my sisters. but i have no guts to step out of the room. i am sorry.
(Ya Allah, kuatkanlah diri hamba-Mu.)
air mata mencurah-curah while i am writing this article. i miss mak. i miss ayah. i miss my anak-anak sedare. i miss everyone.
a girl most beautiful outfit ever is charisma, the most prettiest accessory is smile, and the best pair of heels is confidence.
Friday, 26 October 2012
Thursday, 25 October 2012
i am sorry i dislike you.
salam. well, i hate today. i don't know why i have to be like this tapi I TAK SUKA DOKTOR PERASAN TU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i know it would be like this, i would never balik terengganu for raya haji. everything sucks today. everything is spoilt because of the doctor. thank you so dead much for your pathetic words! thank you! i don't know why i should act like this. i don't know why i should feel annoyed by his words. it's hard to dislike people. but somehow, this doctor had finally buat i developed some strange hateness towards him. congratulations mr doctor. you are the worst thing that ever came into my life.
it all started this morning. i was informed bahawasanya nak pergi jumpa doctor. the doctor that my mak selalu sebut-sebut during phone calls. the doctor yang dipuji-puji sangat bagus. phui. and macam biasa kan, i would be very excited bila tahu nak pi jumpa doktor. punya lah i beriaberia tahan rasa nak makan for 2 hours. konon nak buat saliva test. meeting him, my mak and ayah yang buat tests dulu dengan dia. (i am sorry i use dia instead of beliau. i lost my respect in him already) and i clearly ingat, i okay lagi pada masa tersebut. so when selesai both of them, i went to sit beside him. and dia mulakan lecture dia. OMAYYYY, i was there to check my sakit not to hear your lectureeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! he talked about how the cancer started, sejak zaman Nabi Adam berada dalam syurga. and many more things yang i dont even care to understand.
biasalah orang yang terlalu pandai, so bila bercakap memang bahasa tinggi. merapu-rapu. and i hate him bila dia cakap dia mengagungkan bahasa kampung. whoaaaaa. you sure ke doctor? get yourself sedar mr doctor! you cakap omputeh chocheichochei, is that what you called as mengagungkan bahasa kampung? phui. cakap tak serupa bikin. and i betul-betul berasap bila dia cakap, apa sangat bahasa inggeris tu. Malaysia tak maju sebab bahasa kita diceduk dari bahasa orang lain. dan Indonesia dikatakan maju sebab bahasanya adalah bahasa asal. oh yeah? then kenapa tak mintak nationality as Indonesian? konon Indonesia maju sebab buku-buku perubatan are all in bahasa Indonesia. open your eyes, you are Malaysian, you should have not condemn your own tanah tumpah.
the last thing i ingat, he asked sama ada i wanna further my study overseas, and i rushed out of the room, dan terus melimpah ruah air mata yang ditahan-tahan. i could not held my tears from pelting, even while in the room. i tak tahu why i really tak suka nak mampos dngan doktor tersebut. i am sorry. i tak respect you langsung mr doctor. i dont even care with your PhD thingy. i dont even care even you are the only one in this whole world who did your philosophy in your particular course.
you cakap lah anything about my sakit, i dont even mind. you kan merawat pesakit. bukan merawat penyakit (he said this to me) sebagus mana pun rawatan you, tapi i tetap tak boleh terima. and i am very sensitive when you cakap semua benda macam senang bila dikaitkan dengan my disease. hoh. you doctor, memang tak akan faham my condition and situation, lagi-lagi bila hidup di hostel. di Tumpat. terima kasih so much lah doctor, or should i mention your name here? tak payahla kot. i bukannya nak menjatuhkan you mr doctor. i just wanna express my feeling of dislikeness towards you.
i am so sorry mak, ayah. i betul-betul taknak pergi to the clinic again. you two nak pegi, go on. tapi jangan paksa i pergi. i would never go there again in my lifetime. ever. and i would not take the medicine, no. i am sorry. i can't.
(this is my third post and i already show my sisi yang kurang ajar. i am sorry)
it all started this morning. i was informed bahawasanya nak pergi jumpa doctor. the doctor that my mak selalu sebut-sebut during phone calls. the doctor yang dipuji-puji sangat bagus. phui. and macam biasa kan, i would be very excited bila tahu nak pi jumpa doktor. punya lah i beriaberia tahan rasa nak makan for 2 hours. konon nak buat saliva test. meeting him, my mak and ayah yang buat tests dulu dengan dia. (i am sorry i use dia instead of beliau. i lost my respect in him already) and i clearly ingat, i okay lagi pada masa tersebut. so when selesai both of them, i went to sit beside him. and dia mulakan lecture dia. OMAYYYY, i was there to check my sakit not to hear your lectureeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! he talked about how the cancer started, sejak zaman Nabi Adam berada dalam syurga. and many more things yang i dont even care to understand.
biasalah orang yang terlalu pandai, so bila bercakap memang bahasa tinggi. merapu-rapu. and i hate him bila dia cakap dia mengagungkan bahasa kampung. whoaaaaa. you sure ke doctor? get yourself sedar mr doctor! you cakap omputeh chocheichochei, is that what you called as mengagungkan bahasa kampung? phui. cakap tak serupa bikin. and i betul-betul berasap bila dia cakap, apa sangat bahasa inggeris tu. Malaysia tak maju sebab bahasa kita diceduk dari bahasa orang lain. dan Indonesia dikatakan maju sebab bahasanya adalah bahasa asal. oh yeah? then kenapa tak mintak nationality as Indonesian? konon Indonesia maju sebab buku-buku perubatan are all in bahasa Indonesia. open your eyes, you are Malaysian, you should have not condemn your own tanah tumpah.
the last thing i ingat, he asked sama ada i wanna further my study overseas, and i rushed out of the room, dan terus melimpah ruah air mata yang ditahan-tahan. i could not held my tears from pelting, even while in the room. i tak tahu why i really tak suka nak mampos dngan doktor tersebut. i am sorry. i tak respect you langsung mr doctor. i dont even care with your PhD thingy. i dont even care even you are the only one in this whole world who did your philosophy in your particular course.
you cakap lah anything about my sakit, i dont even mind. you kan merawat pesakit. bukan merawat penyakit (he said this to me) sebagus mana pun rawatan you, tapi i tetap tak boleh terima. and i am very sensitive when you cakap semua benda macam senang bila dikaitkan dengan my disease. hoh. you doctor, memang tak akan faham my condition and situation, lagi-lagi bila hidup di hostel. di Tumpat. terima kasih so much lah doctor, or should i mention your name here? tak payahla kot. i bukannya nak menjatuhkan you mr doctor. i just wanna express my feeling of dislikeness towards you.
i am so sorry mak, ayah. i betul-betul taknak pergi to the clinic again. you two nak pegi, go on. tapi jangan paksa i pergi. i would never go there again in my lifetime. ever. and i would not take the medicine, no. i am sorry. i can't.
(this is my third post and i already show my sisi yang kurang ajar. i am sorry)
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
my official first post.
salam. yeah i've been working with this new blog since tengah malam youuuu. and yeay alhamdulillah, Allah had ease everything for me in order to renew my blog. finally, dapat jugak update lagi about my life in blog. so i guess every single thing will have to start from the first. i have to work hard with this blog. and i really hope this blog will succeed lah, even only for my pencapaian dalaman.
therefore, in this officially new pinky blog, i would always update what comes around me during my last days in MARA Junior Science College Tumpat. and i hope this blog will always be the medium for me to cerita everything about my life in hostel walaupun selepas tak pakai uniform kuning or biru. kinda disastrous i guess. tapi mahu cerita jugak mahu cerita jugak. yeah. actually, nothing to be shared about my life sangat. tapi i just wanna tell those outsiders how i finally adapt to living in hostel yang menggerunkan even though i ni anak bongsu yang spoiled sangat. dan itu adalah dulu. muahaha.
hopefully dengan nyawa yang dibekalkan oleh Allah SWT, i will get the strength to share all my stories, as memories, living in Tumpat. as all of us, the Felix Exitus 1112, had promised to one another to keep our
FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND MEMORIES FOR ETERNITY...
oh and yea, we are having our first-batch graduation day today. a few hours to go before the grand ceremony starts. and i still dont sleep. hai tido ternganga lah kejap nanti, mahunya berjamjam dalam dewan . redah jelaaaaa.
Good morning people <3
therefore, in this officially new pinky blog, i would always update what comes around me during my last days in MARA Junior Science College Tumpat. and i hope this blog will always be the medium for me to cerita everything about my life in hostel walaupun selepas tak pakai uniform kuning or biru. kinda disastrous i guess. tapi mahu cerita jugak mahu cerita jugak. yeah. actually, nothing to be shared about my life sangat. tapi i just wanna tell those outsiders how i finally adapt to living in hostel yang menggerunkan even though i ni anak bongsu yang spoiled sangat. dan itu adalah dulu. muahaha.
hopefully dengan nyawa yang dibekalkan oleh Allah SWT, i will get the strength to share all my stories, as memories, living in Tumpat. as all of us, the Felix Exitus 1112, had promised to one another to keep our
FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND MEMORIES FOR ETERNITY...
oh and yea, we are having our first-batch graduation day today. a few hours to go before the grand ceremony starts. and i still dont sleep. hai tido ternganga lah kejap nanti, mahunya berjamjam dalam dewan . redah jelaaaaa.
Good morning people <3
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